Never Worn

I've been thinking about writing a lot of serious stuff lately, but seeing as it's Easter Sunday, and I've had a few drinks, I thought I would do something a little more comedic. I hope this article gives you a chuckle or two, they say laughing causes you to lose up to 1 pound daily and well, you could use it after all that chocolate you fatass . Anyway on to the snippets: Andy: So the dude at the courthouse said they will just send me a summons in a month or so and ill pay the 125 bucks then. Me: So the cops not gonna' show up and you're going to get off scott free. Asshole. Andy: Yep, man I can't believe we're actually going to get away with throwing the party of the century. Me: What the hell are you gonna' say when your parents open the letter from the courthouse? A: Always gotta' look at the downside don't you. Rach : So Nick are you goin' to club 77 tn? Me: Nah, I'm not feelin ' it tonight. Ash: Hey! I'm going to 77 tonigh

Today is a rough day. I won't sugarcoat it, I'm hungover. Very hungover. Yesterday I made a 40 minute roadtrip down to Brantford to meet my buddy Mike, and see a few local bands. After the little mini- roadtrip, and hours of dicking around in the hicktown that is Brantford , we finally made our way over to the venue. Jay's Place is an above average venue for local rock shows, especially for a small city. Cafeteria tables and chairs carefully decorated with varying amounts of penned graffiti and "soandso was here" carvings surround the outside of the large hall. With a moderately sized stage on one end, semi-clean washrooms, and a kitchen bar on the other, the place seems to be a quality hangout for the music-scene regulars in the town. Me and Mike show up and pay our cover as the 2n d band is finishing their set. Oh, I almost forgot another strong point about Jay's; It's convenient location is within drunken pissing distance from the towns largest l

I know, I know, I haven't written anything in a week. I think I'm just going to blame it on the new foreign kid, It's always the new foreign kid's fault. Now this blog entry might be a little selfish. I'm more or less writing this one so I can personally look back at it later and refresh my own memory, but I honestly believe It is my duty to spread the awesomeness that is King's Cup. Now I'm sure many of you are going "Nick, I've heard of that drinking game, and no I won't play until I'm drunk enough to have sex with you blahblahblah ". But for those of you who haven't heard of said drinking game: I am about to unleash a fury of drunken fun all over your face. First, you need 2 key ingredients; people, and a location to throw down. Like some guy I can't remember always says "location is the key, location, location, location". This great philosopher was definitely talking about drinking games when he uttered those

It's 11:30 on a Wednesday night and I'm on a service road driving my 2003 Mazda hatchback that perfectly reflects my social status. Cigarette sparks bounce off the cold road on occasion as I breathe in a mix of nicotine and artificial heat. Gotta' keep the window down even though its -8 outside so the wife won't smell the smoke tomorrow. She hates it when I smoke. Hair metal rocks along inside the vehicle, bass cracking slightly as it shoots out of my still fairly new stock speakers. I casually run my hand through my semi-buzzed haircut somewhat yearning for the golden locks that were once attached to my head back in the 80's. "I'm too old for that now" I say to myself, traded that life in. A guitar for briefcase exchange about 12 years back gave me the life I have today and it's better this way. I'm on my way home from an exhausting , coffee filled, night at the office but it'll all be worth it come Friday . The kids are off school, and a

I constantly find myself striving to do something elaborate. I stay awake at night, I daydream, always about the extraordinary, the grandeur, the big bang. I seem to live, not by the saying "go big or go home" just by the "go big". In my short 20 years on this earth (year 0 counts bitch!) me along with my trusty companions have gone through some pretty crazy times... It all starts with my bright eyed dream, from when I was around 7, to stay up all night on Christmas Eve and confront Santa. I spent weeks planning this adventure. I saved up a bunch of my Halloween candy, filled water bottles up with coke, spent a dollar in pennies on a can of Jolt Cola, and hid many an action figure under my pillow. I had it all planned out. The second my unsuspecting parents turned off the light and shut the door, little old me scrunched up my face, counted to 10 " Mississippi's " than silently rolled out of bed, my feet landing with a dull thud on the carpeted hardwo

Dear Neo -Citron, How can something so beautiful and tasty come in such a small packet? Your lemony goodness is masked only by the sensation that occurs when the heat of your magical liquid hits the back of my tired, dry throat. This feeling is something so amazing it's hard to describe in such few words and it needs a full blown Hemingway chapter to properly do it justice, but it's somewhere in between a deep breath in a hot sauna on a frigid day, and 100 beautiful naked ladies holding 100 ice cold beers, with a giant banner over top proclaiming that it is national steak and blowjob day(march 14 th , Google it!). O lovely N eo -Citron, your good at anytime. Sometimes I like your non drowsy genre, served ice cold in the morning when I feel congested. Sometimes I enjoy a warm cup of your throat soothing, semi-clear, golden grace in the afternoon if I'm going to try and play guitar and sing crappily , but every once in awhile, after a long weekend of partying or working a

First off, I apologize to my 0 readers for my lack of updating since my first post. See, Wednesday the 20 th was my 19 th birthday and in this lovely province of Ontario on your 19 th birthday you drink enough to kill a small alligator . I continued this tradition by coating the inside of my body with enough alcohol to kill any disease that should try to harm my weak immune system. I'm telling you this now so if I take an abnormally long time off and blame it on illness I'm probably lying. Now on to my weekend. Kicking it off, Friday was the culmination of a plan devised by me and my best buddy Andy to throw a ridiculously large party at a banquet hall. Long story short the party began at around 7:30 when we started putting up decorations. By around 7:45 our first guests showed up before we were set up, before our security was there, and before we were ready to take care of 6 drunk hockey dudes. After shooing them into the bathroom to finish copious amounts of alcohol that

I guess I should start this off by saying how I got the brilliant idea to start my own blog... Over the past few weeks I've noticed the hilarity of conversations that take place between me and my friends and after blatanly stealing the concept from Nathan Degraaf of Points In Case( www.pointsincase.com ) i've decided share parts of these converations with you the public in hope that me and my friends coolness can force feed some much needed humour into your lowly hate filled lives :) Now much like Nathans blog, mine shall contain stories of beer drinking, ladies, sports, more drinking, opinions on things, opinions on things while drunk, music, everyday life and so on and so forth until I get bored and stop writing. Anywho saddle up and join me on this trip into the comedic goldmine that is my life . Me: Damn, look at that girl, although honestly, she'd look better without all the tatoos. Mike D: check out mine, just got it done(shows tat). Me: Bitchin dude, "the worlds