Skip to main content

Now Presenting: Snippets!

I've been thinking about writing a lot of serious stuff lately, but seeing as it's Easter Sunday, and I've had a few drinks, I thought I would do something a little more comedic. I hope this article gives you a chuckle or two, they say laughing causes you to lose up to 1 pound daily and well, you could use it after all that chocolate you fatass. Anyway on to the snippets:


Andy: So the dude at the courthouse said they will just send me a summons in a month or so and ill pay the 125 bucks then.
Me: So the cops not gonna' show up and you're going to get off scott free. Asshole.
Andy: Yep, man I can't believe we're actually going to get away with throwing the party of the century.
Me: What the hell are you gonna' say when your parents open the letter from the courthouse?
A: Always gotta' look at the downside don't you.

Rach: So Nick are you goin' to club 77 tn?
Me: Nah, I'm not feelin' it tonight.

Ash: Hey! I'm going to 77 tonight are you coming?
Me: Sorry cutie, I'm feelin' kinda' sick. I think I'm just going to stay at home

Caroline: So I'm going to 77 tonight, am I going to see you there?
Me: Sorry babe, I blew a tire and spent an hour in the snow changing it, I'm staying at home tonight.

Becki: ...I'm workin' at 77 tonight so-
Me: I'M NOT GOING LEAVE ME ALONE!

Rach: NICKK!! I'm bored. Talk to me.
Me: About what?
Rach: I don't know, anything. What do you want to talk about?
Me: Boobies.
R: Ha Ha. Nick said boobies.

Me: Hey mike buddy whats up? Let's chill tonight, beers and bro's, we'll hang out.
Mike: Yeah man, I was thinking about catching a bus into town anyway I hear this 77 thing is supposed to be good tonight.
Me: FUCK THE WORLD. FINE, THE UNIVERSE WANTS ME TO GO CLUBBING I'LL GO CLUBBING.

Rach: Seriously Nick, let's talk about something interesting.
Me: Boobies are interesting.
R: NO! Something that's FUN and interesting.
Me: Your telling me that boobies aren't fun and interesting? I mean come on, you have a pair, you must know.
R: Fine, I'll give you that, but can we change the subject?
Me: No way, this is how I pick up girls.

Andy's Dad: Son, We got this letter from the government. What is it?
Andy: Oh it's nothing, one of the kids who got in a fight at the party is pressing charges and they need me as a witness.
Andy's Dad: Bullshit.
A: Excuse me?
AD: I said bullshit. You and Nick probably got fined for having a bunch of kid's in the hall drinking without a liquor license.
A: Wow, Yeah. Damn your good.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I am Giving Away A Free Hat To The First Person To Comment On This Post!

Ok so for the past while now I've been working on a clothing project. Since I was a young boy I've been doodling a familiar phrase on the back of my notebooks while sitting in class, writing the same thing in different ways to impress girls, or just because I was sick of what the teacher was nagging me about in high school. I would sketch-out the phrase, add additional designs too it; sharp flames around the "O"'s or blue waves around the edges, then try and make a cute girl notice my artwork as a way to catch some of her attention that may otherwise be saved for a young male far more dapper than my teenaged self. Recently I found myself without a job and while interviewing I had to come up with a good answer to the clichéd question the person across the table often asks "What's your greatest weakness?" and WHAM! there I was the same nervous teen, scrambling to find an answer to impress someone enough to consider me for a position. Rather tha...

Attentions and Intentions

Picked up the blog again temporarily while I have some extra time on my hands with the intent to hopefully write something that people will actually want to read. Apparently, a good way for an author to develop interest and desire from a reader is to ask the reader some provocative questions with the goal of keeping them entertained. So, how's your day going? How's your family? Pets doing well? Additionally, the stuff I actually care about, do people still read things on their laptops? Do people still read on their desktops? Or is everything you read now exclusively available on a 5 to 8 inch plus fibreglass-esque rectangle most likely located in your front pocket? Do people even read at all, whether it be for their own pain or pleasure? Because I'm aware that you're just dying to know, my personal preference is to have a cellphone that's smaller in stature so that it fits more properly into my clothing. Strangely, my favourite object to read is also the abs...

I Feel Like Pablo When I'm Working On My Blog

So it has been brought to my attention by my leagues of adoring fans that I must be psychotic because it's 2017 and this is a blog, so I don't actually have any fans. Saying that, writing this provides me some sort of an outlet, a way to express my frustrations, and unlike when I try to record something on video, or something musical, if a mistake happens while writing this, I can go back and edit it easily. Although the incessant barrage of typos are annoying it doesn't require another take, I don't have to take it from the top, and I really don't have to worry about what I say because no one's going to read this anyway. The idea that I can be so open with my opinions, free to say whatever I want to say about whatever the fuck I want to talk about, should be something that readers admire in the content they seek. In a world where everything is brought to you by something, where content is curated as a way to advertise to you without your brain recognizing i...