I constantly find myself striving to do something elaborate. I stay awake at night, I daydream, always about the extraordinary, the grandeur, the big bang. I seem to live, not by the saying "go big or go home" just by the "go big". In my short 20 years on this earth (year 0 counts bitch!) me along with my trusty companions have gone through some pretty crazy times...
It all starts with my bright eyed dream, from when I was around 7, to stay up all night on Christmas Eve and confront Santa. I spent weeks planning this adventure. I saved up a bunch of my Halloween candy, filled water bottles up with coke, spent a dollar in pennies on a can of Jolt Cola, and hid many an action figure under my pillow. I had it all planned out. The second my unsuspecting parents turned off the light and shut the door, little old me scrunched up my face, counted to 10 "Mississippi's" than silently rolled out of bed, my feet landing with a dull thud on the carpeted hardwood. Stage 1: Complete.
I knew my surroundings like the back of my hand, and lucky I did too. There were many booby traps lying around that night, all harder to see when the light switch pointed down. During my planning I had expected more moonlight, but since this was the real deal and not another practice run I had to deal with it. Because of my daily missions, whether to slay dragons, to hunt wizards, or to find ghosts I knew to skip the creaky places around the dresser that might tip off the evil king or worse, my parents. I put down a blanket to warm up the sound of my slippers tapping the cold floor and sliding on my stomach over the cloth I made my way to the desk against the wall. Reaching my pudgy hand under the furniture I found the treasure I had been seeking; Month old Slim Jim's, sour keys, fun sized candy, all the sleep-busting sugar I needed to complete my mission. Stage 2: Dunzo.
ZOOOOOPPPP(that's the sound of flash forwarding) 2am by now and little old me hasn't heard a whisper of Santa. Empty pepperette wrappers and various candy remains litter the floor around me, and the blanket on the floor never felt so comfortable. Now that the action figures have evacuated the formerly bloody battlefield that is my pillow, my head gently rolls from the hot side to the cool side. Only a few more hours, only a few more hours.
Stage 3: ZzZzZzz.
I blame most of my antics later on in life on my failure to accomplish this mission and even today I've never confronted Santa.
Anyway because today was an "ice day" where I was stuck inside and couldn't drive to school I leave you with 3.5 snippets.
Tscrub(don't ask): Man, any upbeat fast song by the Rankin family is awesome.
Me: What did you just say?
Tscrub: Maybe I should just embrace my homosexuality now.
Me: You definitely should.
TS: Maybe dick is an acquired taste... Your thoughts?
Me: Dude, you know I'm using that in my blog right?
TS: Just attribute it to me, "the Rankin family and dick"
Rach: ...and I'm doin' my hair in cornrows tonight!
Me: Why would a good looking girl want to do that to herself?
Rach: Your SO rude Nick, it's gonna' look ballin!
Me: So you agree with me, your gonna go from a cutie to Jim Jones in one smooth motion.
Rach(laughing):Your a jerk you know that.
These next 2 take place on a guys night out with 2 of my best buds Andy and Ian.
Cute Greeter Girl: Hey guys! Table for 3? Sorry it's going to be a 20 minute wait.
Andy: Guys Let's just go
Me: I guess.
(as we're walking out the front doors)
Ian: A 3 HOUR WAIT! F-that
Random guy in line: A 3 hour wait! Screw that, lets leave
Andy: Wow, it's like empty in this place.
Server girl: You guys ready to order? Not yet? OK I'll be back.
Ian: I'd do her.
Me: Yeah man, she's pretty cute.
Andy: Ye.
Me: I'm not a huge fan of the piercing on the face though, It only looks good on like some girls.
Ian: She had a piercing on her face?
Andy: Haha. Man what the hell were you looking at?
Ian: I think we can all answer that question.
Server lady who definitely has a piercing on her face: So, You guys ready?
It all starts with my bright eyed dream, from when I was around 7, to stay up all night on Christmas Eve and confront Santa. I spent weeks planning this adventure. I saved up a bunch of my Halloween candy, filled water bottles up with coke, spent a dollar in pennies on a can of Jolt Cola, and hid many an action figure under my pillow. I had it all planned out. The second my unsuspecting parents turned off the light and shut the door, little old me scrunched up my face, counted to 10 "Mississippi's" than silently rolled out of bed, my feet landing with a dull thud on the carpeted hardwood. Stage 1: Complete.
I knew my surroundings like the back of my hand, and lucky I did too. There were many booby traps lying around that night, all harder to see when the light switch pointed down. During my planning I had expected more moonlight, but since this was the real deal and not another practice run I had to deal with it. Because of my daily missions, whether to slay dragons, to hunt wizards, or to find ghosts I knew to skip the creaky places around the dresser that might tip off the evil king or worse, my parents. I put down a blanket to warm up the sound of my slippers tapping the cold floor and sliding on my stomach over the cloth I made my way to the desk against the wall. Reaching my pudgy hand under the furniture I found the treasure I had been seeking; Month old Slim Jim's, sour keys, fun sized candy, all the sleep-busting sugar I needed to complete my mission. Stage 2: Dunzo.
ZOOOOOPPPP(that's the sound of flash forwarding) 2am by now and little old me hasn't heard a whisper of Santa. Empty pepperette wrappers and various candy remains litter the floor around me, and the blanket on the floor never felt so comfortable. Now that the action figures have evacuated the formerly bloody battlefield that is my pillow, my head gently rolls from the hot side to the cool side. Only a few more hours, only a few more hours.
Stage 3: ZzZzZzz.
I blame most of my antics later on in life on my failure to accomplish this mission and even today I've never confronted Santa.
Anyway because today was an "ice day" where I was stuck inside and couldn't drive to school I leave you with 3.5 snippets.
Tscrub(don't ask): Man, any upbeat fast song by the Rankin family is awesome.
Me: What did you just say?
Tscrub: Maybe I should just embrace my homosexuality now.
Me: You definitely should.
TS: Maybe dick is an acquired taste... Your thoughts?
Me: Dude, you know I'm using that in my blog right?
TS: Just attribute it to me, "the Rankin family and dick"
Rach: ...and I'm doin' my hair in cornrows tonight!
Me: Why would a good looking girl want to do that to herself?
Rach: Your SO rude Nick, it's gonna' look ballin!
Me: So you agree with me, your gonna go from a cutie to Jim Jones in one smooth motion.
Rach(laughing):Your a jerk you know that.
These next 2 take place on a guys night out with 2 of my best buds Andy and Ian.
Cute Greeter Girl: Hey guys! Table for 3? Sorry it's going to be a 20 minute wait.
Andy: Guys Let's just go
Me: I guess.
(as we're walking out the front doors)
Ian: A 3 HOUR WAIT! F-that
Random guy in line: A 3 hour wait! Screw that, lets leave
Andy: Wow, it's like empty in this place.
Server girl: You guys ready to order? Not yet? OK I'll be back.
Ian: I'd do her.
Me: Yeah man, she's pretty cute.
Andy: Ye.
Me: I'm not a huge fan of the piercing on the face though, It only looks good on like some girls.
Ian: She had a piercing on her face?
Andy: Haha. Man what the hell were you looking at?
Ian: I think we can all answer that question.
Server lady who definitely has a piercing on her face: So, You guys ready?
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